Yes, children with selective mutism have developed a specific fear of speaking to or in front of certain people. So they can speak outside the home and often do – but are only comfortable speaking if they are sure that these ‘certain people’ are not listening. So as Michael says, they have indeed developed a fear of talking outside the home and are constantly monitoring their surroundings to check on who else is around and who might be watching them. Shy children don’t do this monitoring, and don’t suddenly freeze from talking comfortably with their friends to becoming silent and expressionless as an adult enters the room.

I mention this because it’s important not to automatically rule out SM if quiet children talk sometimes at school. Children with SM are not always “totally silent in school”. For example they may:
• talk to parents in an empty classroom or in the playground
• talk to children but not adults
• talk in earshot of other people but not directly to them
• manage one or two words in answer to their teacher’s questions (with obvious tension in their voices or body language) but be unable to initiate conversation or requests
• whisper or use another alternative to natural voice

Allowing for all the above variations, a “diagnosis of SM requires that the failure to speak is persistent over time and that there is a consistency and predictability with respect to the situations in which speech does and does not occur”. (ICD-10)

Thank you for drawing our attention to the differences Michael as it helps us adapt our expectations and interaction styles accordingly. It’s so important that children with SM are not confused with shy or introverted children, as the longer we delay appropriate treatment, the more entrenched their mutism becomes. And so important not to confuse shyness with introversion – “Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.” (Susan Cain: ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’)