Comments on: Me and Bobby McGee: or combating low self-esteem. With help from Garth Algar, Cat Stevens and Janis Joplin!

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Tue, 26 Nov 2013 08:07:59 +0000

Hi Tim
I guess you are right. 17 is a very strange age. I was determined to do all the things that my big brother’s friends were doing: they were 21 and total adults in my mind. By the time I was 19 my outlook had changed completely.
I’m not a huge fan of Thomas Hardy (quite the opposite in fact) but he says something like ‘experience is to intensity and not duration’ I have to agree with him. Being 17 and 18 had enough intensity to last me a lifetime!
Your observation about lack of self esteem and the need to perform is quite fascinating.
Many thanks for that
Michael

By: Tim Dunkerley

Tim Dunkerley — Wed, 13 Nov 2013 10:49:02 +0000

Michael Michael Michael..It’s obvious innit? Bobby (Roberta) obviously fancied the pants off you and decided to show you and Nancy how it was her for you, not Nancy by fixing it with Duncan to play your song rather than the Cat Stevens..Either that or Duncan was stoned but it does feel a bit coincidental… you might have got Inna Gadda Da Vida and no one would have known what was going on at all. Speaking as an ex adolescent who regularly had to get other people to ask girls out cause I couldn’t do it myself for fear of rejection.

Poor or low self esteem is seen by all the 12 step addiction agencies and therapists as a major component in addiction and addictive behaviour. In my experience it can either lead to acute shyness as you describe or, counter intuitively, a massive ego (cloaking a teeny tiny self loather underneath.

Not to blow my own trumpet /mandolin I can attest that being on the receiving end of cheering applauding enthusiastic punters can produce a very heady brew, made all the more potent by the inevitable and eventual quiet afterwards.

The picture of a crumpled and tearful Kurt Cobain at the very end of a gig somewhere actually tells you all you need to know about that self esteem/adulation/ approval/addiction matrix.

On another note(sic) entirely but on the theme of musical succinctness… First lines or lines from songs, or even song titles that do it for you?

My own favourites

Morrissey: “Every day is like Sunday” great title in itself, but the opening line is an entire short story in one half sentence….”Trudging back over wet sand, to the bench where my clothes were stolen” He may be an odd cove but if that isn’t genius I don’t know what is.

Recently I head a Jakob (son of Bob ) Dylan line. “here it comes, there it goes. The unbearable sound of the earth turning boys into men” Hmmm deep.
I think Duncan from Ricks would approve (by the way there is a Ricks Records in Lewes)

And of course the best song title in the world: Loretta Lyn
“I’m gonna have my head examined to see what makes me tick”

No actually second best.
Rose Tattoo or Mental as Anything (I can’t remember)

“If you leave me can I come too?”

“nothing ain’t worth nothing, but it’s free…..”
TD

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Mon, 11 Nov 2013 17:35:49 +0000

That is just awful!! Thank goodness things have changed (in the UK at least)
Michael

By: Carol Adams

Carol Adams — Mon, 11 Nov 2013 17:23:19 +0000

It certainly was a whole different world when we were at school. Rapidly approaching 60 I can still remember with great indignity being slapped on the back of the legs by my teacher when I was 5. My crime? I put a ball of wool on a friends head. What did these sort of punishments do for our self-esteem?

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Sun, 10 Nov 2013 19:11:54 +0000

Hi Carol
I agree with you entirely.
I think I would have enjoyed being a child at your setting! I was an August-born so went straight to school at 4 years of age. I had no idea what hit me. Actually I had: it was ruler held by a teacher tapping my hand for making the tail on my ‘g’ too curly.
I feel very sad about Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse and all those tragic female singers who live out their tragedy in the public eye. It’s all about low self esteem in the end.
Best wishes
Michael

By: Carol Adams

Carol Adams — Sun, 10 Nov 2013 18:50:10 +0000

I totally agree with the comment from the Swedish teacher. I believe self esteem goes hand in hand with good communication skills. When I talk to the parents of our pre-school children I stress the importance of instilling good communication skills and a feeling of self worth in the children, the importance of listening to the children’s views and offering praise and support where needed. I feel too often parents focus on negative behaviour and don’t spend enough time encouraging their children to acquire new skills. Parents are happy to tell us that their child can count to 10 (so what, it’s just like reciting a nursery rhyme to them); however, if I mention that we have concerns over their communication skills they shrug it off – it’s something they will grow out of. Yes they may do but in the meantime they are struggling to make themselves understood and feeling isolated from their peers. It’s a big old world out there and we need to be raising children that are confident and able to make their needs and views understood by others.

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Sun, 10 Nov 2013 18:20:20 +0000

Thank you Tracy,
You are so right! We should look to Sweden for good sense in educational practice, and they can look to us for great rock and pop!
Best wishes
Michael

By: Tracy Seed

Tracy Seed — Sun, 10 Nov 2013 09:14:13 +0000

I enjoyed reading your blog this morning the song that came to me immediately was

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
And I’ll try not to sing out of key
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad because you’re on your own?)
No I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

(Do you need anybody?)
I need somebody to love
(Could it be anybody?)
I want somebody to love

(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time
(What do you see when you turn out the light?)
I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh I’m going to try with a little help from my friends

(Do you need anybody?)
I just need somebody to love
(Could it be anybody?)
I want somebody to love

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends
Oh I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends

When I asked my friend who owns 5 pre-schools in Sweden what outcomes she wants for children she said Self Esteem of course!