Comments on: Overexposed? Or how to overcome stage fright. With help from Joe Kowan, Janis Joplin and two very naked Frenchmen!

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Sat, 12 Apr 2014 10:42:50 +0000

Ah yes, Guildford. I remember it well. I had a letter afterwards from a school SENCo, on school headed paper, saying how awful her and her six colleagues thought I was.
I wasn’t sure how to react. However there must have been those who thought differently because the local authority, and one neighbouring booked me to give a series of talks throughout the area.
I had a similar response from two speech and language therapists at another talk who described my training as a waste of time and totally irrelevant.
One said this to me after the evening and in front of a parent I was talking to. She was furious and told me not to worry because she had been trying to get support for her son for ages, and would now look elsewhere.
It’s not nice to be told you are rubbish, but I suppose the subject of how to help quiet children is an emotional one.
A few weeks later another therapist said he had learned lots of new things, so I felt a bit better after that.
Scritti Politti! There’s a name to conjour with!
Nice to hear from you
Michael

By: Carol Adams

Carol Adams — Sat, 12 Apr 2014 10:01:44 +0000

Not Brighton I’m afraid, just downtown Guildford. Strangely enough we have just returned from a couple of days in Brighton where we had booked to see Manic Street Preachers (who were brilliant). They were supported by Scritti Polliti who had been absent from the live scene for a number of years following the lead singer’s suspected heart attack at a performance in the 80’s. It turned out to be a severe panic/anxiety attack caused by stage fright. I hadn’t realised until now that they had originally written and recorded ‘Perfect Day’, which I love. Just goes to show there are some brilliant artists out there who struggle to perform. It’s a shame there are so many rubbish performers (being polite here) who are happy to share their talent for all and sundry. And get well paid for it!!

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 21:00:31 +0000

Hi Carol. Thank you for replying. Performing your own material is much more nerve-racking than performing someone else’s. It can feel like you are laying yourself bare (literally). If it goes well, then you are encouraged to do it again, and it becomes easier. But if, like me, you are very self-critical, then even one negative comment out of many positive ones can confirm that you are no good. I really like Laura Nyro, but she just couldn’t hack performing. However some of her songs have been recorded and performed by other people, and she got the fame and recognition (and royalties!) that way. I read that she was very pleased with that, so there’s hope for your son.
Regarding little girls who are silent, but who talk in other settings, it’s worth comparing the ‘talk experience’ in the different settings. Children don’t decide to be silent. It’s a reaction over which they have no control.
I’m glad you like reading the posts.
Best wishes
Michael
PS Where did you see me ‘perform’? I have a feeling it was in Brighton….

By: Carol Adams

Carol Adams — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 20:38:04 +0000

Very interesting reading and listening to the comments on stage fright. My son can write his own songs, play and sing them but lacks the confidence to perform in public. On the outside he is a very confident, funny and has good rapport with people in general but who knows what is going on inside his head. Regarding selective mutism, I am currently working with a little girl who up until she returned to pre-school in September was quiet but would chat to adults and peers. Since September we have not had a word from her. I have attended one of your workshops so I am aware of not pressuring her to talk. We have built up a close relaxed relationship with her and she appears very happy, laughing and playing around the other children and joining in all the activities – but not a word. We know she chats at home, in the after-school club and to the staff when she picks her brother up from school (all in the same building). Despite her silence we believe she is a very clever little girl and sometimes think she is just playing an elaborate game with us. We’ve become convinced that on her last day with us in July she will shout out, “bye” as she goes through the door for the last time.

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 13:59:08 +0000

Mine, you are very kind. I’m really hoping that more people will do what you do, which is to look closely at the needs of children and young adults who are very quiet and unhappy about being so.
My next post is about Bob Dylan, Billy Bragg and Tom Paxton’s hat. Watch this space!

By: Mine Conkbayir

Mine Conkbayir — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 13:31:37 +0000

Michael, you never fail to inspire and entertain!

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 07:04:27 +0000

Hi Josephine
The best work on selective mutism is by Maggie Johnson and Alison Wintgens. Maggie and I also published a book and details are on my website /
You could start by visiting the ‘Selective Mutism’ pages on my website, which include me on telly describing the problem and also me on Radio 4 in an interview with Michael Rosen on ‘Word of Mouth’. Both were fascinating experiences, as I became mute just a few minutes before going on air!
Best wishes to you!
Michael

By: Josephine Allen

Josephine Allen — Wed, 09 Apr 2014 21:16:52 +0000

Hi Michael
Have you got any source advice on selective speaking (elective mutism)? All nuggets gratefully received! J

By: Michael Jones

Michael Jones — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 14:25:47 +0000

Hi John,
Good to hear from you. I think all of us adults who are used to giving talks about our work feel most vulnerable when presenting to a group of our peers. I certainly feel that.
Also we assume that children will automatically trust us teachers so much that they are prepared to do and say whatever we want them to do or say in groups, or in front of the class. But you try telling a group of teachers on a training course to sit in a circle and go round each one to introduce themselves. They (and I) find it nerve-racking! And don’t ask any adults on a course to engage in role play!!
And that’s how it feels to be a confident child, so what’s it like to be very shy, let alone have selective mutism?!
I like Joe and his open mike experience. 20 ‘angry folk singers’ must be a terrifying audience!!
best wishes
Michael

By: John Rice

John Rice — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 13:57:38 +0000

This is really interesting, Michael. I sometimes attend an open mike event and feel, strongly, that I should have a go. I’m the first to admit that my voice is… inadequate, but I’m a reasonable guitarist and the audience is more than supportive, so why the reserve? My son has played piano in all manner of venues and exhibits no nerves whatsoever, but then he’s been doing so since early childhood – perhaps it’s a matter of being acclimatised?

The analogy of stage fright to selective mutism is, of everything you’ve written, the most enlightening for me. I could only sympathise before but now, I think I truly understand. Place me, alone, in front of 300 children and ask me to sing (badly), and I’m your man. Ask me to sing in front of 20 -30 of my peers and I’ll put my head in the nearest bucket!